The Coaching Toys Blog

Prospecting for Perspectives

Whether designing a business or working on a project, our thinking can sometimes get in a rut. If you are feeling the urge to drop everything and get away from the work  - DO!  Playing "hookey" can be good for business.

 

Doing something you don’t normally do or that is different from your normal work routine definitely gives you a break from the “work”.  It also opens you to new stimulus, which with a little intentional play can suggest new ways to think about something.

 

Hobbies, sports activities, politics, the arts all offer possibilities. The raw material for your creative process lies in the language, process and structures of the new activity. Then, it’s all about making connections and finding parallels.

 

Perhaps your hobby is gardening.  How do you think about gardening? What are the tools needed? How do you create a garden that blooms from early spring to late fall? What are the steps to prepare the soil?

 

Take your knowledge and wisdom around gardening (insert your stimulating activity here) and look at language, processes, steps, fundamentals and structures, then find ways to apply or overlay those with your business or project.  

 

In the case of gardening: What would "blooming all year" look like in your business? What is the connection between preparing the soil and the project you are working on? What needs tilled? What would be a good fertilizer? Are there weeds that need to be removed? What about dead heads? What are the annuals? What are the perennials? You get the idea.

 

Now go ahead and give it a try.  Take your hobby or something new you are learning or experiencing and find the connections with your business or project.

 

This process can give you new metaphors, new perspectives and even ideas for innovative new products or programs. AND, it gives you a solid business reason for taking time off!

A Story of Integrity

A client of mine, Sally (not her real name) was recently at her wits end. She was a middle aged graduate student and in desperate need of a job. She had been looking for months and with the difficult economy kept running into dead ends.  Needless to say her normally cheerful, positive attitude was taking a hit and her house was going into foreclosure.  Despite the desperation that was beginning to set in, she persevered. She kept interviewing and putting the word out to every contact she had. Her family members were doing the same on her behalf.

 

Finally she got a break! A friend of a family member got her an interview at a local high end restaurant – in fact the best restaurant in her city. Sally had experience in the food industry, made a good impression and got the job as hostess. You would think that would be the happy ending of the story, right – persistence rewarded... but it isn’t.

 

She came home from her first night of work, sat down and cried. She said the customer service was horrible and the staff was rude to each other and to the patrons of the restaurant. Sally felt that the atmosphere was so negative and toxic she could not possibly continue to work there, it went against everything she believed in. She called the owner the next day and resigned. When asked why, she courageously told the truth. The owner asked her to please to come in and at least have a conversation about it – she agreed.

 

In the conversation with the owner, Sally had the opportunity to be specific about what she saw and experienced. She described the chaos, disrespect and poor customer service. Sally was completely honest with him about what would need to change for her to work there.  As it turns out, the owner knew he had a problem and didn’t know how to fix it. In Sally he saw an answer to his problem. He offered Sally a job as guest services manager. She would answer directly to him and had full authority to make policy changes related to customer service as well as hire, fire and train staff.

 

Sally accepted and since taking that position the work environment at the restaurant has changed dramatically. There has been a turnover in staff, the owner gets a flood of letters raving about the great customer service and Sally has gotten two raises in as many months. Sally is ecstatic, her positive energy permeates the restaurant and she is learning tons about the business from the owner – a definite plus for the MBA she is working on.  

 

In spite of her truly desperate need for a job, Sally stuck with her values, courageously told the truth and her integrity was rewarded in a very big way. An awesome story wouldn’t you say. Sally is someone we can all learn from. What values would you take a stand on?

Smile first - Happiness follows

I just ran across a blog post by Dr Patsi Krakoff, www.brain-fx.com,  who referenced a study by Robert Zajonc. The study found that the physical act of smiling brings about physiological changes that will make you feel happy - Smile first and happy follows.

My only resolution this year is to feel good (happy) more often so it was serendipitous to run across this when I did. I have been thinking about what makes me feel happy and it’s interesting to think that it can be as simple as smiling more often. 

The whole idea reminded me of an old audio tape I had years ago with a meditation on it by the Buddist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. I couldn’t find my tape but through an internet search I was able to find the exact words of the meditation and the source:

“Breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile. Breathing in, I dwell in the present moment. Breathing out, I know it is a wonderful moment.”  From The Blooming of a Lotus: Guided Meditation Exercises for Healing and Transformation

The concept has been around for awhile and it’s good to see science catching up. I have been experimenting lately with this simple act of smiling whenever I think of it and I can really feel the shift each time. I’ve reminded myself to smile at least a half dozen times while writing this post – can you feel it? What might smiling bring to your business or creative endeavors?

 

 

A powerful legacy

A colleague of mine that I quite adored died last fall from ALS (Lou Gehrig disease). Often when someone dies from a terminal illness we say they lost the battle against (cancer, ALS, etc). With Ilene Kouzel, all I can say is that she won the battle of living fully to the very end and leaving as consciously and intentionally as she lived. She touched me personally and profoundly during her life. She coached me, she dove in and helped out at the Coaching Toys booth at an ICF conference one year and in general offered me support, love and huge permission to “be.”  She was also a great ‘assumption buster.’

Through a series of recorded interviews near the end of her life with her good friend Carol Ross, Ilene’s spirit and wisdom live on. The conscious living, conscious leaving project can be accessed at www.consciousleaving.com  Ilene’s commitment to learning and healing allows her to speak candidly about her failing body and her thoughts and feelings about her approaching death. Her love and deep wisdom offer hope to all of us that there is a different way to leave this world and a more intentional way to live. The recordings are poignant, insightful and filled with love, hope and the lightness of being that was Ilene. You will find yourself looking at your own life differently.

Being a delightfully creative soul, Ilene loved to express herself through art and poetry. Poetry became a powerful way for her to speak about her experience. There are a number of her poems posted on the website and my favorite “Amusement Park” can be downloaded here; www.consciousliving-leaving.com In the poem she talks about not being afraid to die, just not ready to leave the amusement park yet. The lines that strike me deeply in this poem are; “Dragged out tantrumming like an angry child, who doesn’t know she is sated. Or leave exhausted, dreaming of fairies making love, magic and mischief. The choice is mine”. Wow – How often do we resist or not know we are sated and what choices could we make instead?

Not only are the audio recordings, transcripts and poetry a powerful legacy but now a scholarship fund for diversity in leadership has been set up for the CTI Leadership Program. I first met Ilene through the CTI Leadership program. She was an assistant for my leadership cohort. It is an amazing experience and the program is worth supporting. You can find out more about it at www.consciousleaving.com 

And a special message to you Ilene– if you can hear me from the other side

You are a dazzling pink dance bursting out from the center of a full blooming fragrant wildflower – you pollinate inspiration and love and wisdom and the power of being, even now. Thank you sweet woman.  Marcy